Friday, 11 December 2015

Booknut's Ramblings ~ Apocalypse Survival 101

Yep, today I'm asking the important questions!

As the year draws to a close, you can't help but wonder...what if this was it? What if, tomorrow, I volunteered as tribute the end of the world arrived? Would I be prepared? Answer: Nope. Not at all.

Yes, I realise exactly how morbid that line of questioning sounds, but it's a valid question! And as a bookworm, I'd like to think that I'd have an advantage during the apocalypse. After all, I've read many a dystopian novel so I have to have picked up some pointers along the way.

So today here is my list of apocalypse survival tips (a.k.a Booknut's Plan For The End Of The World) that I've put together from my reading on the subject.

My plan for the end of the world is based on wisdom extracted from the following books and/or series:

Stock up on everything. Grab everything. Be the best hoarder you can be!

Stocking during the apocalypse (if Life As We Know It taught me anything) is a nightmare come true. People will be tripping over one another to grab canned goods, camping gear, arms, and mini-vans. 

Seeing as I am basically 5′2″ the chances of me not being squished by the crowd are very, very low. I will probably become a sidewalk pancake...a sad, sad sidewalk pancake.

The hoarding would have to begin months before the actual apocalypse, so I'd need either (A) advanced warning about the end of the world, or (B) to stock up regularly 'just in case'. That's the best scenario! 

But, odds are, I'd have to brave the human stampede to stock up on perishables, like vegetables, meats, fish, and cheesecake. You can't forget cheesecake.

Things to stock up on:
  • Perishables
  • Non-perishables (a.k.a anything in a can)
  • Coffee
  • Water 
  • Toilet paper
  • Fuel
  • Arms (ammunition, etc. >> in case of zombie attacks)
  • Defence (bullet proof vests, helmets, alarms, locks, etc.)
  • Modes of transportation (bikes, scooters, motorbikes >> or have two main modes of transportation and keep them in good condition and ready to go)
  • Medical (basic medicines, first aid, etc.)
  • Clothes
  • Footwear
  • Camping gear (including blankets, pillows, rope, etc.)
  • Baggage (knapsacks, etc. >> for a quick escape)
  • Batteries
  • Matches (lighters, hand/solar powered flashlights, etc.)
  • Phones (smart phones, burner phones, etc.)
  • Oh, and books. You can't forget books!

You can't survive alone. Or without some serious skills!

It's the first, basic method of surviving the Hunger Games - team up with people who will increase your chances of survival.

Obviously it'd be nice if you brought something to the group. Whether it's being badass with a bow and arrows, infinite knowledge, medical skills, awesome super powers or even the ability to run away really, really fast - any of these skills could be the difference between you surviving the apocalypse or becoming a quickly killed off side character.

My awesome Team For The End Of The World would include a range of different skills and personalities. But don't forget - it's important you all can work well together. So I'd have to choose people I was compatible with. 

One of my favourite apocalypse teams I've come across on the internet!
You've got your goods. You've got your team. Now you need a HQ!

Finding the perfect safehouse to get through the end of the world is no easy feat - just ask the guys from FEED

First off, I'd need to find a place that provides my team and I with multiple layers of defences. If one layer of defence fails, I don't want to be scurrying around like Mrs. Bennet in a hurricane of panic. I need a back up plan.

Preferably I'd have a two-tiered safehouse - half of which is located topside, with the other half being underground. I'd need room to store all of my stocked goods. These goods should be dispersed throughout the safehouse so if one of my stores is destroyed, I haven't lost everything.

If I'm really prepared I'd have more than one safehouse - so if one is attacked or destroyed, I have a Plan B. A safehouse should also not rely entirely on electronic defences. Because if the power goes out and the zombies are knocking on my door...things are not going to go well!

But the main thing a safehouse needs? 360 degrees, 24 hour surveillance. You don't want to be caught unawares.
Every apocalypse needs a doctor on hand. And quickly!

Trust me - in the apocalypse no one wants to be sitting for hours in a crowded doctor's waiting room. Especially if you've got an infected bite, a weird tinge to your skin, or a missing limb.

The apocalypse poses several problems when it comes to medical assistance. The first, like in Gone, is that there may not be any trained adults or specialists present when you need them. If you're a bunch of teenagers, or young adults, stuck in a grisly situation you're going to need to have the medical knowledge to pull yourselves through. 

With the help of Step 1's trusty first aid kit, I should be able to deal with minor incidents. But what about major medical emergencies? What if I need to create a cure? Unless I'm secretly a scientific genius which I am not I'll most likely be kissing my apocalyptic dreams goodbye.

The answer? An on-hand medical and/or scientific genius as a part of my badass team. That way I can skip the issue of having to track down a doctor amid zombie hoards, alien raid, or mutant bunny stampedes. Fingers-crossed my medical genius stays alive long enough to be of use to me and my team!
Stay connected to the outside world! 

In an apocalypse I'd need varied and multiple forms of communication. Because if Divergent taught me anything it's that things could have turned out a lot better if they'd been able to maintain constant communication with one another.

It'd be a good idea for my team and I not to rely too heavily on one type of communication. Our forms of communication should vary between being wi-fi/electricity reliant, battery reliant, solar-powered, and hand-powered.

Types of communication:
  • Televisions
  • Computers, IPads, etc.
  • Feeds
  • Phones (burner phones, satellite, etc.)
  • Walkie-talkies
  • Radios (survival, normal, etc.)

Monotony can = rebellion and violence. So be sure to liven things up!

Sure, some people will get a thrill out of being scared to death on a daily basis. But for those of us who don't love living on the edge, the apocalypse can take its toll. Keeping the team healthy and ready to take on anything is one thing...keeping the team together and happy is another.

I'd keep my team to a routine, give everyone something to do. There'd be times for leisure as well, times to relax and pretend that there is still a sense of normality. Of course there'd be no heavy drinking (need to keep the team alert!) but I'm sure I could smuggle some boardgames into our safehouse. 

And if the television works, I'd be more than happy to host an apocalyptic chick flick marathon!

Finding a love interest is not a priority.

A most valuable lesson I have learned from every dystopian book ever from my research is that love interests cause nothing but problems. Especially when they're being chosen from within your apocalypse team.

Hey, I'm all for finding true love - I am! But I think that if you can avoid being in the middle of a love triangle, you totally should. You don't want to risk splitting the team, or losing the Hunger Games nearly getting yourself killed. 

Love triangles are brutal for all involved. don't have time during the apocalypse to be handing out 'Team Hot Nice Guy' and 'Team Hot Bad Boy' t-shirts! 

Nobody is overly fond of the dark.

This step is fairly short and simple: keep the lights on. Always make sure to have backup lights and a range of different kinds (see Steps 1 & 3). Lights are integral to survival, specially at night as the power may not always be on.

Dystopian books always feature creepy crawlies and monsters that come out at night. Plus it's always good to stay inside and keep the lights on, so I can see my surroundings and can lunge for the nearest weapon without tripping over my teammates!

There's no room for tyrants on the SS Apocalypse!

This step is also pretty simple and one that is almost always overlooked in dystopian books. Can I say Divergent, anyone? Hunger Games? Delirium?

Having one, main authority figure or body making all the rules works for no one. What you need is a set of rules agreed upon and/or voted upon by all. Every one gets a say, and leadership changes in a democratic fashion with people being able to stay in office for set periods of time.

No rules = bedlam. Too many = rebellion. Finding the balance is a necessary part of surviving the apocalypse without fighting amongst one another.

Don't forget to keep a record!

Just look at the guys from FEED! Or at your local bookstore. Stories about the apocalypse are always in demand. So why shouldn't I get a head start on my career and keep an End Of The World record?

And how knows...maybe my story will become a future bestseller!

Do you think I'd survive the apocalypse? What would your plan consist of? 

Let me know in the comments section below!

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